Lot of new-moms need privacy from their mother and mother-in-law post-delivery, however, many still turn to them for help in managing new responsibilities. Whatever you might feel, understand that you are allowed, and even encouraged, to be a bit selfish for the first few weeks post-delivery; you are recovering from childbirth which involves postpartum bleeding or trying to get your new born to latch for breastfeeding. You are also trying to take care of the baby and managing the household, hence, it is okay to take steps to make yourself feel comfortable and whether you feel comfortable by asking for privacy from the new-grandma or inviting her to help you, do it without any hesitation.
Finding Balance between Help and Privacy
This is a very overwhelming and emotional time for both you and your partner; you are trying to bond with the baby, learning how to take care of the little one and finding new things. Hence, you need to find a balance between the help your mother or mother-in-law offer and your privacy. You might not feel comfortable breastfeeding the baby every now and then with her around or you might find her help valuable. It could be either ways, however, think about it and talk to your partner.
Talking to your partner and discussing the issue is the ideal thing to do. Your partner might have their own views on the matter and it is better that you both talk about it openly and share your ideas. Tell them what you feel and get to know their opinion.
A privacy drape will help you nurse your baby with ease in front of your mother or mother-in-law. You can buy them here.
Talk To the To-Be-Grandma
This is tricky, however, if you want privacy from your mother or mother-in-law then you need to clearly spell it out; don’t simply assume that they know what you want. Sit down with her and talk to her about it. Tell her what you feel and how you might find it more comfortable to have privacy in such an intimate moment of your life.
She would probably already have her own opinions and feelings about bonding and spending time with her grandchild, even about helping you and your partner in this phase of life; however, she might understand what you mean. Don’t be rude but be firm about what you would like; she would eventually understand.
Talking is Important
Don’t sweep things under the carpet; talking to your mother or mother-in-law about your concerns will breed a healthy and positive space for you and your family. Be honest about what you feel and what you want. By openly discussing the issue, you both can reach a mid-way as well, like; maybe you require privacy for a few days post-delivery as you get into a routine and learn things like breastfeeding the baby, so you can invite her to stay with you two weeks after delivery. Her presence will also help as you can leave your baby in trusted hands while you take a couple of hours break by yourself. The key here is to talk; it will at least start a discussion.
Don’t get frustrated, calm down and talk about it. You are both starting on a new journey; one towards parenthood and the other towards grandparenthood, and you both have lots to learn about what is right, what is wrong and what works for you.
Just stay calm, stay positive and enjoy this new phase in your life!